Jim Knipfel brings it. It's the dead solid straight ahead tone that really makes this piece, I think. Sure, you can wink and/or snark your way thru similar material and produce perfectly enjoyable copy (Weekly World News, por ejemplo, or even the sidebar accompanying Knipfel's story). But the unblinking earnestness just pushes it to a whole 'nother level. Knipfel's first novel, the Buzzing, is a favorite of mine and has something of the same style (you thought it was just a movie, but you were wrong). Plus loads of references to cheezy Japanese monster movies.

use borscht...