First up, today's winner for best fakey-fake email name: Refusals L. Cosmonaut.
And now, it's episode one of Things In Cans. Tonight's thing-in-a-can is Sparks. I will say, right at the jump that, yes, I'm aware that this stuff is not being marketed at me. But I do like the can designed like a battery. Very cute. On the first sip I pegged this as evil kool-aid. Altho after reading the ingredients (inc. caffeine, taurine, guarana, ginseng) I'd say it tastes like what it is -- a Red Bull/malt liquor blend. Unfortunately, like Red Bull, it doesn't improve much with repeated sips. And letting it get anything even remotely approaching warm is not recommended. I got about 1/3 thru the can before the flavor profile flipped from evil to vile. But I will say that at 6% ABV and in a pint can, I'd guess this has got to be about as drunk as you can get for under $2. Back in the back when, I could buy a sixpack of Black Label (at the quickie mart around the corner in Bay Ridge) for $1.99. But that's alot more liquid to get down for a similar impact. If one were to slam a Sparks, I'd expect it would quite efficiently allow one to get a buzz on. Actually it's more like getting hammered and wired at the same time. I was just reading an article on how the Pop the Cap bill got stalled in the NC Senate and was momentarily distracted by the notion of a 15% ABV version of Sparks. Now that could do some damage...
Final note: for the love of whatever god or gods you do/don't believe in, if you sample a Sparks, do not pour it into a glass. Just trust me on this and drink from the can like nature intended, kids.